My morning cup of rant

So the desk calendar I purchased the day they went half priced is of Mark Twain quotes. Today reads;

"You can't reason with your heart, it has its own laws, and thumps about things which the intellect scorns."

How extremely fitting.....
I being of sound mind, and of the female side of the species, should know better about following my own intuitions. Alas, no. I have given others the benefit of the doubt so I may run amok in my own fantasy, trying to capture and hold onto something that never will. Its very funny, the advice I find myself dishing out to others, and have been told, just recently in fact, that I should seek a career in the field of therapy. But, funny thing about therapists, they usually have fucked up relations too. We are all just human. I am forgiving myself for having been led astray. Now that I am aware of my present situation and all the lies and deceit, I can no longer continue to be drug through the dredges of her muck. So, dear readers, this is a quasi-apology to myself for the beatings. But I won't be so forgiving if I let it happen again. Thanks, I feel better about today after letting that out a little.

Cancerian feeling her moon

My posts coincide with my cycle.

For you

So my cell phone is almost dead.... It's sitting in the corner of the room on the charger. I am feeling less than poetic and you can tell from my previous posts I am capable of weaving some cryptic feely shit. But tonight its about staying warm ,while on the phone in the driveway, for a length with my best friend, while drinking southern comfort and coke. I watch my dog run out and bark at passers by and apologize for my rudeness. Overall I am still an attentive chatty bitch. I love Aisha for being the same, and I expect her to call me, forever till we die. Because we have established ourselves as sisters. Beyond color, beyond orientation and certainly beyond who our mothers are. She is mine. And I hers. We have touched, lived and lost together, as friends do. Over time this is an earned thing. Seeing each others lives and being comfortable with the space you have been put in. And with all of my friends I expect this sameness. This space we have been allotted. This loving place we have made our way to. Because with friends we have an understanding and forgiveness that not all families have. Not the same dynamic and forgiveness-Because here, in this friend, this person, stranger, I have decided to let into my life, we have less of a past, but more of a future than mine own family. And no apologies. I have to reiterate, there is always a preciousness between kin, but between kindred spirits, one cannot neglect nor deny. So that's why I am not apologizing for too many text messages, nor the mistakes I may have made, because I expect the same from you. And if I am lucky I will be able to get those moments again. And with friends it is ok to say, "I want your time" " I need a hug" "I'm penniless buy me a drink."" These are ok under the friend terms. So I hammered this out for you so you may see, as the whole world is privy to this page, that it is ok to declare our friendship, but you and I can declare the terms and be ok with it for however we see fit. If you need my friendship, not my judgement, if you need my love, that is not a request beyond my capability. But I need your friendship as well, and honesty and maturity and trust come too. I want to. I am a willing person. No doubt. These words are meant for you. Friend.

david gray lyrics

Started talking and the line went dead
Never heard a single word you said

Babe I said I’d give my right arm,
Every day it hits me side on

Baby baby you’re the world to me

I woke up, the room was cold
Looking tired, feeling old
Cursin’ all the changes of the sea
The more I cursed into the flood
The less it seemed do me good
The clearer became my mind than I could say
Baby baby you’re the world to me

My head is roaring like a waterfall
Give me everything or none at all
You don’t have to turn the sound up
Babe I want you from the ground up
Baby baby you’re the world to me

Baby baby you’re the world to me

Baby baby you’re the world to me
Baby baby you’re the world to me

You don’t have to turn the sound up

Babe I want you from the ground up

Baby baby you’re the world to me

Iridescent like a starling
Won’t you be my little darling
Baby baby you’re the world to me

Baby baby you’re the world to me
Baby baby you’re the world to me

Carnelian

Since Christmas I've been wearing a carnelian pendant for overcoming sorrow, balancing my second chakra and healing wounds. It is suppose to help with everything from kidney problems to artistic endeavors, and all things that I am not able to achieve on my own. It's healing powers have already helped, but I don't know how much it will calm my soul if I continue to wear my heart on my sleeve?