It's been awhile since I told this story so I figured I'd bring some folks up to speed.....
Back in November 1999 I was riding the Amtrak north from Fresno to my home in Sacramento. If you've ever taken this journey you would know that it doesn't take too long and there isn't much to see. There are plenty of farms to look at and the foothills are just beyond them.
The day was bright. The sun was high. I was extremely relaxed and contemplative. I had just had a small feast at my parents house and the affects were with me still. I was happy about the independence of my traveling alone and I was reading a book that had been given to me by a friend called, The World of Zen - An East west anthology. It is subtitled "The first comprehensive anthology of Zen Buddhism."
I was quite absorbed in this new philosophy. I had tried other ways to expand my mind before but never had such insight come from one source. With every turned page I found myself nodding my head in complete understanding. This was the second book I had read on the subject and it was to be just the beginning of a long list of books to come. (The first book about Buddhism I ever read, by the way, was "The Empty Mirror" by, Janwillem van de Wetering. A great author who chronicles his experience with Buddhism. And the third, if memory serves, was "Zen Flesh, Zen Bones" by, Paul Reps.) But the most interesting part of this journey was not the book. It was my state of mind.
As I sat there I felt an overwhelming calm sweep over me. It felt like I conquered something and a sense of pride, but without ego, entered where there had been fatigue
....And it was as if the the whole world just had been put on slow-motion. From my perspective the train was moving through this cosmic-space-time-continuum. I looked out the window and the glare of the sunlight's reflection on the irrigated fields was the most beautiful golden color rippling along with the motion of the train. All the sounds around me at that point seemed to be muffled like voices underwater. This stillness and calm did not leave my perception for sometime. It was the greatest "high" I had ever felt and sobering all at once. From that moment on I felt like a more enlightened being because I was living for that beautiful moment, like a dream I wished not to wake from. I took that train ride and never looked back.
It was a deeply spiritual moment for me and I couldn't ever deny what I felt that day. It was my shining moment of mindfulness and my sudden glimpse at nothingness, nirvana, and satori. That is why I'm a follower of the Buddha.
1 comment:
Oh, that's lovely. So beautiful.
I had an experience like that, long before I met Buddhism. Unearthly beauty and calm. Just an ordinary day in Olympia, Washington, but everything was radiant, fresh, clear, and sharp, and I suddenly just wasn't anxious about anything anymore. I was just grateful, grateful to be in such a beautiful place and to be able to see it.
It lasted possibly fifteen minutes, but it was a pivotal moment in my life. I knew what I wanted, then. I wanted to be able to recover that, to live in that space as often and as long as possible. Nothing else mattered, not really.
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